Teen Violence

TEEN AND PREDATORS ON THE INTERNET (MySpace & Facebook)

FACTS:

• 1 in 5 children are approached by an Internet predator.
• Predators contact teenagers and children over the Internet through social networking sites such as MySpace or Facebook.
• Predators also use the Internet for the production, manufacture, and distribution of child pornography, exposing youth to child pornography and encourage them to exchange pornography or worse entice children to meet for the purpose of having sex.
• Most but not all victims are between the age of 12 and 15 years old.
• Most victims do not set up privacy or security settings to block strangers and, in fact, willingly engage in conversations with strangers.
• Most victims tend to be loners with few offline friends. They are often looking for love and affection online. Many children contacted by predators believe they are communicating with someone around their own age, and not with an adult.
• Most victims are secretive about their Internet activities.
• Most victims tend to have few activities outside of the Internet.
• Most victims receive strange phone calls, gifts, and packages from predators who groom their victims.
• Parents find photographs of strangers, pornographic images, or waits until other family members are asleep or out of the home before going online.

What you can do:

• Discuss with your child the joys and hazards of social networking.  Ongoing communication and education are you best tools in teaching your child how to be safe while enjoying Internet.
• Review with your child how important it is to avoid inappropriate comments, sexual imagery, and adult themes on their MySpace or Facebook profiles.
• Keep communication lines open so your child feels respected in the dialogue.
• Go over your child's list of Internet buddies and have them tell you the real name of each person on the list.
• Pay attention if your child acts secretively by getting online after you go to sleep or shut off the computer as soon as you enter the room.
• Review you child's home page or online profile. Make sure there is nothing in appropriate.  Many predators keep detailed files on their targets and gather information over time from a variety of sources.
• Delete the account immediately if your child has been approached or harassed online, IMMEDIATELY delete their old account, pick a new username and start another. Do not let the harassment continue.
• Prohibit web-cams. Easy-to-use $20 Webcams instantly transmit high-quality continuous color video across the globe and are used by predators to exploit children.
• Install monitoring software on the computer used by your child if you a good reason to be concerned about predators.  Even though it may feel like spying on your child, a parent has a responsibility to know with certainty whose is in their child's life and software provides that certainty.
• Teach children never share their MySpace email address with anyone or their profile may be the target of hacking if anyone discovers their password.
• Discuss and explain to your children privacy features on MySpace and apply appropriate access restrictions to their MySpace profiles.  Have them deny or block users that harass, spam, or look suspicious and only accept friends that your child knows.
• For more information, see online course on Internet and Adolescents: Whose Space is MySpace?

VIOLENCE ON TV

FACTS:

• TV influences behavior. If it didn't, Nike, Budweiser, Pepsi, etc. would not invest billions of dollars in advertisements.
• Violence on TV occurs in most programs and especially (5 times more) in cartoons.
• Thousands of studies have shown that violence on TV influences behavior and attitudes among children who watch it.
• The Surgeon General reports that TV violence is linked to aggressive behavior in children who view violent shows.
• From the American Medical Association to the American Psychological Association, from UNESCO to the US Attorney General, the conclusion is that TV violence is linked to the proliferation of violence in our culture.
• By age 12 the average child has witnessed at least 8,000 murders and more than 100,000 other acts of violence on television.
• Children spend more time in front of the TV than they do in the classroom.
• The proliferation of violence and pornography on the Internet has become a huge factor in desensitizing children to violence and sexual crimes against women, children and vulnerable minorities.
• In summary: Violence in the media, whether it is reflected in music, cartoons, wrestling shows or movies, desensitizes children to the effects of violence, legitimizes and glorifies violence and increases aggressive behavior in those who watch it on TV or the Internet.

What you can do:

• A child's bedroom should be a media- free zone. No TV, video games or computers.
• Monitor the amount of exposure children have to violent movies, TV and video games.
• Don't expose children under the age of 7 to ANY violent content in entertainment.
• Make TV viewing a family activity and have the TV in a common area.
• Don't turn on the TV before school and turn it off well before bedtime.
• Check www.movierports.org for information on violence and sexual content in movies.
• Do not provide free and unmonitored access to the Internet for your child.
• Watch movies and television, play video games and listen to your children's music with them.
• Discuss how the content does or does not reflect your family values.
• Teach critical thinking skills appropriate to their age level.

VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES & SCHOOL SHOOTINGS

FACTS:

• The U.S. Marine Corps, the U.S. Army and law enforcement agencies use video games like "Doom" or Nintendo to train their people in the use of firearms.
• Lt. Col. David Grossman, a U.S. Army expert on the psychology of combat and author of the book, "On Killing", has illustrated how violent video games, in the hands of children, serve as "murder simulators" .
• The 14 years old killer in the Paducah, Kentucky, school shooting had never fired a real pistol in his life. Nevertheless he fired eight shots, five of them head shots, the other three upper torso shots, killing 8 children. Where did he get the skill and will to kill? Most likely from violent video games and media violence, pared with a lack of adult guidance.
• In summary: Violent video games train our children to kill, glorify violence, desensitize them to suffering and legitimize and trivialize violence.

What you can do:

• Prevent your children from playing violent video games.
• Replace violent video games with non-violent, stimulating, exciting, educational and interactive video games, which enhance knowledge, creativity, curiosity and imagination.
• Work on and support legislation to outlaw the sale/display of violent video games in your community.
• Talk to your children about this issue and discuss your concerns with other parents.
• Be sure to know how a household manages the use of the Internet, television, etc., before you allow your child to spend time visiting another's home.
• Teach your children how to define their values and how to make responsible choices that reflect them.

BULLYING AT SCHOOL

FACTS:

• Bullying is an on-going pattern of harassment and abuse. It can be done directly by physical or verbal attacks or indirectly by exclusion, spreading rumors, etc.
• Bullies seek power through aggression and direct their attacks at vulnerable victims. Bullies lose their popularity in high school and have a high likelihood of having a criminal record as adults.
• 1 in 5 kids admit to being bullied or bullying. Every 7 minutes a child is bullied in the school setting.
• While most teachers believe they always intervene in bullying, only 25% of students report teachers' help.
• Those who are bullied have often learned to perpetuate the problem.  While mostly unconscious, those who are bullied bring some of it on themselves.  The proof is that often when you change the bullied child's environment, he/she will still be bullied in the new environment.
• In summary: Bullying is a widespread school phenomenon, which peaks at middle school and is hurtful to vulnerable students. Bullying is a school problem that, in many cases, is not being addressed adequately.

What you can do:

• If your child is bullied: Teach him/her how to walk away from the bully and how to use assertiveness training. Do not confront the bully yourself.
• Teach your child to speak up on behalf of those who are being bullied and against the bullies themselves.
• Demand that the school develop a comprehensive educational policy about bullying. Do not settle for the school sending the bully and/or the bullied to talk to the school counselor.
• Support programs and activities that teach and reward tolerance.

VIOLENCE AT HOME

FACTS:

• One of the main reasons that children become violent is because they are exposed to violence in their own homes, whether it is directed towards them or towards others.
• Violence at home can be of a physical nature, or it can be expressed verbally or through neglect and abandonment. Abusive homes and violent neighborhoods are stronger predictors of adult violent behavior than violence in the media. Most abusive parents were physically or sexually abused as children.
• In summary: The home and the neighborhood have an immense influence on children. Violent children are most likely to come from abusive homes and/or neighborhoods.

What you can do:

• Do not ignore signs or evidence of child abuse or domestic violence. Report to Child Protective Custody, to local police or to school counselors. Passivity perpetuates abuse.
• If there is violence in your own home seek help immediately. Stop the cycle of violence!
• For more information, see online courses on Domestic Violence, Intimate Partner Violence or  Female Batterers.

VIOLENT CULTURE

FACTS:

• Numerous researches have established the undeniable relationships between militarism, sexism, racism and violence within the culture.
• Principally, there is no difference between the state of mind that seeks to resolve international conflicts by force and the state of mind that seeks to resolve interpersonal or familial conflicts by force and the misuse of power.
• There is a direct link between the way in which we use power with our children, our significant others, our neighbors and our environment and what we teach our children about violence.
• Cultures in which young children regularly receive loving touch have lower incidents of violent crimes.
• Research done with psychiatrically hospitalized adolescents demonstrated a significant reduction of violent and sexual acting out when staff increased the use on non-sexual, affectionate touch with the teens.
• Fear and violent behavior have a direct correlation. Monitor media news presentations that capitalize on creating fear through undue sensationalism and manipulative means.
• In summary: The misuse of power through violent action is taught through and supported by culture. The United States is one of the most violent cultures in the Western world with more crimes being committed with guns and through violent force.

What you can do:

• Get politically involved and find ways to promote more peace and harmony in the world of politics.
• Communicate with your elected officials, network executives, news editors and corporations regarding your opinion related to the perpetuation of violent values through the media.
• Educate yourself about gun control and use your vote to reflect you values.
• Expose your children to diversity and help them to develop empathy.
• Contact the Southern Poverty Law Center for materials and direction to teach tolerance to children in your community.
• Educate yourself with resources, such as of American Psychological Association (APA) at: www.apa.org/pi/pii/teen/contents.html.
• Discuss this issue with your friends, co-workers, school administrators, children's coaches, teachers, religious leaders, etc.
• Teach and demonstrate peaceful conflict resolution.
• Discipline your children through non-violent means.
• Provide stories, books, movies, etc., that place a high value on treating others with tolerance and respect.
• Create a culture of respect in your home and larger community.
• Speak out against violent injustice.
• Always Report incidents of abuse.
• Get help for the abused and the abuser. Passivity perpetuates abuse.

TEEN SUICIDE

Facts:

• Suicide is the third leading cause of death for adolescents and young adults.
• Young males are much more likely to commit suicide than their female peers.
• Female adolescents are more likely to attempt suicide than their male peers.
• Female Hispanic students are more likely to attempt suicide than all other students.
• American Indian/Alaskan Native male adolescents have the highest suicide rate.
• In summary: Teen suicide is a significant problem in our culture.  It is prevalent problem that will continue to grow unless something is being done about it.

Myths and Faulty Beliefs about Suicidal Teens

• Once a teenager decides to kill himself, nothing can stop him.
• Young people talk about suicide mostly to get attention, therefore the best thing to do is to ignore the person.
• If we ask a young person if they are thinking about suicide, we run the danger of putting the idea of suicide in their mind.
• When a person tries to commit suicide and fails, the pain and shame will deter another attempt.
• Since depression is often a common sign of suicidal behavior, once the depression has subsided,  the suicidal teen is out of danger.
• Because suicide may "run" in families it cannot be prevented.

What to Do:

• Do find out if the individual has suicide ideation, a plan and means, and if so, what does it entail? Remember, the more specific the plan, the higher the degree of risk.
• Do acknowledge that suicide is one solution to the problem, but it is not the only, nor the best, solution to the problem.
• Do state that you will do whatever you can to prevent this suicide.
• Do accept that in some cases you may not be able to keep the individual from committing suicide.
• Do remember ambivalence. Most people do not want to die, and individuals who want to kill themselves are suicidal for a limited time only.
• Do make sure that someone removes any guns or potentially lethal medication from the person.  The police department will accept any lethal means that people do not want to keep at home.  (If other alternatives are available, do not keep it in your office.)
• Do tell the person that he/she does not have to solve this problem alone.
• Do recognize the warning signs.  This is a key to preventing teen suicide. While there is no single warning sign indicating that a person will attempt suicide, there are warning signs that teenagers give that may alert us to their danger.
• Do remind them that death is final and emphasize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
• Do respond to a student's suicide by following up and utilizing multiple approaches to prevent future suicides or cluster suicides.
• As a professional, weigh all your options, consider the clinical, ethical and legal aspects of the case, conduct a thorough suicide and level of risk assessment and risk-benefits analysis, and when appropriate, consult.  Always document your ethical decision-making, what you did and why.

What Not to Do!

• Don't debate the merits of living or dying with an actively suicidal person.
• Don't ask why the person would commit suicide. Suicidal people may not know why. Determine how serious the person is and ask if the individual has a plan and means.
• Don't belittle the person for having these thoughts.
• Don't offer platitudes. They don't help.
• Don't try to win arguments about suicide.  Your client will always win.
• Don't keep silent, stay passive or ignore the threat and danger.
• Don't leave the person alone if you think there is immediate danger.
• Don't engage in a physical struggle with a person who is armed.
• Don't challenge the person by telling them to go ahead and do it.
• Don't give false reassurances that "everything will be fine."
• Don't be misled if a teen tells you that things are OK and that the emotional crisis has ended.
• Don't assume that the aggressive child is more likely to commit suicide than the "good," "quiet" or "obedient" child.
• For more information, see online course on Teen Suicide.